Episode 5: How to Stay Strong When Life Gets Hard

Welcome to Tim Saying

Inspiring you to grow, develop, and thrive through life’s challenges.

Introduction

"Hey everyone, welcome back to Tim Saying. Today, we’re talking about something real—how to stay strong when life feels unbearable. We’ve all had moments where it feels like there’s no way out, like things will never get better. But here’s the truth: resilience isn’t about avoiding hardship—it’s about learning how to push through it and find strength in the process."

"I remember a time in my life when I felt stuck. Like no matter what I did, nothing was changing. I felt helpless, like I had lost control of my own story. But looking back, I realize that season of my life was shaping me, teaching me how to endure, how to adapt, and how to find meaning even in the struggle. And that’s what I want to help you do today."

Teaser:

"Why do hard times feel so overwhelming? Why do we feel hopeless, stuck, and like there’s no way out? And more importantly—how do we break free from that mindset and build unshakable resilience? That’s what we’re unpacking today. Stick with me—this is one you’ll want to take notes on."

Why Do Hard Times Feel So Overwhelming?

The Science Behind Hopelessness

"When life gets tough, our brains go into survival mode. Stress triggers our fight-or-flight response, making us feel anxious, panicked, or frozen. Whether it’s financial struggles, relationship issues, or personal failures—our brain starts to translate them as threats we can’t escape. This is called learned helplessness."

Research Insight

"Psychologist Martin Seligman’s research on learned helplessness shows that when people experience repeated failures or hardships, they start believing nothing they do will make a difference. This is why people feel stuck, hopeless, or like there’s no way out. But here’s the good news: just like we can learn helplessness, we can unlearn it. We can rewire our mindset to see challenges as temporary, not permanent."

Why It Feels Like The End of the World

Emotional Reasoning

When we feel hopeless, we assume our emotions reflect reality—‘If I feel stuck, it must mean I am stuck.’ But emotions are temporary, not truth.

Tunnel Vision

Hard times make it hard to see beyond the present moment. We forget that pain is temporary and that things do change.

Lack of Control

When we feel like we’ve lost control, it’s easy to spiral into despair. But resilience is about shifting our focus to what we can control.

Practical Tip

"When you’re in a dark place, ask yourself: Is this thought a fact, or just my feeling in this moment? Emotions are real, but they don’t always tell the whole story."

Three Pillars of Staying Strong

Pillar 1: Acceptance and Self-Compassion

Key Point:

"Strength starts with accepting reality—not in a passive way, but in a way that frees you to move forward. Fighting what we can’t control only leads to frustration, but embracing it opens the door to resilience."

Personal Story:

"I used to try so hard to change people’s minds, thinking if I just said the right thing, I could make them understand. But the real breakthrough came when I realised that my peace didn’t come from controlling others — their actions, thoughts etc — it came from accepting what I couldn’t change and focusing on what I could."

Book Recommendation

The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga—this book teaches how self-acceptance leads to true freedom. Example — if hot coffee in your hand then throw at me

Pillar 2: Focus on Small Actions

Key Point

"When life feels overwhelming, even the smallest steps matter. Small wins create momentum, and momentum builds strength."

Practical Tip

"Ask yourself: What’s one thing I can do today to move forward? Maybe it’s making your bed, sending one email, or going outside for five minutes. These micro-actions build resilience over time."

Example:

"There was a time when I was drowning in stress, and I told myself: ‘Just do one thing.’ That one thing turned into two, then three, and before I knew it, I was moving forward again."

Pillar 3: Build a Support System

Key Point

"Resilience isn’t just about inner strength—it’s also about knowing when to lean on others. You don’t have to do it alone."

Personal Story:

"I used to think asking for help was a weakness. But the truth is, some of my biggest breakthroughs came from conversations with the right people."

Research Insight:

"Studies show that strong social connections improve resilience and mental health. People who feel supported handle stress better and recover from hardships faster."

Practical Tip:

"Think of three people you can turn to for support. Reach out to one today. A simple text—‘Hey, just wanted to check in’—can be the first step toward connection."

The Power of Connection

How to Build Meaningful Connections

Be Honest: Open up about what you’re going through. Vulnerability builds real relationships.

Stay Consistent: Make time for regular check-ins—whether it’s a phone call, coffee, or a simple message.

Find Your People: Join a group, whether it’s a faith community, mentorship program, or a hobby-based club.

Seek Professional Help: Therapy and coaching aren’t just for crisis—they’re for growth.

Measurable Action

"Write down three people or groups you can lean on. Choose one to nurture today."

Final Reminder

"You are stronger than you think. Pain is real, but so is healing. Struggle is part of life, but so is growth. Whatever you’re facing, know that this moment doesn’t define your future."

Encouraging Bible Verse:

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18 (ESV)

"You are not alone. Even in your lowest moments, you are seen, you are loved, and you are capable of getting through this."

Call to Action

Challenge Listeners:

"This week, take one small step toward resilience. Whether it’s reaching out to someone, writing down your thoughts, or choosing to reframe a tough situation—just take one step."

Engagement Opportunity:

"DM me or share your story on social media—how have you stayed strong through hard times? I’d love to hear from you."

Tease Episode 6:

"Next week, we’re talking about breaking free from comparison—the hidden struggle that keeps so many of us stuck. You won’t want to miss it."

References

Bonanno, G. (2004). Loss, Trauma, and Human Resilience: Have We Learned Anything?

Neff, K. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. William Morrow.

Holt-Lunstad, J. (2020). Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review.

Sandberg, S., & Grant, A. (2017). Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy. Knopf.